Sea of Love
by Scardie Kat
Summary: Hotch's little sister is in the hospital and the team rallies around her, her brother, and the Doctor that loves her. Reid/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Alright here it goes again. It's been awhile since I've written anything on here, but this has been swimming in my head for awhile and I figured it was time to get it out. I want to give a BIG THANK YOU! to everyone who loved my first CM fic. **

I own nothing...

**Sea of Love**

**Present**

Aaron Hotchner was a family man. It wouldn't take much for him to protect the ones he loved and sometimes that overlapped into work. His team was his family. In the past few months he'd come to rely on them more than ever before, but it was time for him to step up again.

Sitting in the dimly lit hospital room, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of his little sister. It was an odd gesture he knew. Considering he was sitting with an IV providing her with more blood. He knew Sean would be here in the morning, but there was a nagging feeling that if he hadn't left the case early he wouldn't have a sister to sit with at all.

"How are you feeling, Mr. Hotchner?" A nurse asked as she checked the various machines and scribbled on the chart. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"She's starting to get her color back. I'm sure she's grateful that you made it here when you did."

She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder before leaving the siblings alone again. Thinking back, Aaron hadn't spent this much time alone with her since she moved back. It was strange considering they worked together. When she was younger she was a permanent shadow trailing behind him, and that didn't stop into adulthood as they both went into the FBI.

_Megan sat on the edge of one of the agent's desks. She wasn't new to this environment, though she knew they were not ordinary FBI agents. She loved coming in and imagining what it would be like to work here one day. Her brother was upstairs working hard in his office, and she didn't have the strength to talk to him yet. _

"_Megan," the surprised voice put a stop to the laughter coming from the group in the bull pen. _

_Aaron stood outside of his office, staring down at the younger girl. Her hair was lighter than he remembered from her last visit, and it was straight as a board compared to her normal curls. Her dark eyes smiled up at him from the edge of Derek's desk. _

"_Hey, big brother." She said hopping off and making her way up the ramp to his office. _

"_What are you doing here?" He asked, closing the door behind them. Megan took in his office quickly, noting how neat he kept it compared to the pigsty he lived in as a teenager. _

"_I dropped my grad classes, and I want to get into the academy here. Do you think you could help me out?" Aaron watched his sister closely. _

"_You want to work for the FBI?" He asked taking a seat behind his desk. Megan had never expressed an interest in his work, and it was almost amusing to have her here asking for help._

"_Aaron, don't make me beg." Megan sighed taking a step closer. "I need a fresh start, and I don't care where you put me, just get me out of New York." _

"_How long did this one last?" He asked, opening various drawers. _

"_What do you mean?" Megan asked defensively. She thought he'd leave it alone if she admitted she was looking for a way out. _

"_The boyfriend, how long did it take him to turn from perfect to a monster?" He watched her every move, but he had to admit she learned how to hide behind her smile better than the last time he'd seen her. _

"_Three months." _

"_Why didn't you fight back?" He asked getting up and sitting on his desk in front of her. _

"_I did, and I landed in the hospital with two broken ribs. I'm here now, that's all that should matter." She set her jaw, forcing the tears to stay away. All she wanted to do was hug him, feel safe in his arms like she did when she was a little girl._

"_You can stay with us, I'm sure Haley would love some help with getting things ready for the baby." He put and arm around her and began to lead her out of the office. _

"_It's funny, isn't it?" She stopped him at the door. "You catch them, and I date them." _

"_It's normal," he told her, hugging her tightly. _

"_Don't profile me." She said as she pulled away. _

"_No one will, I promise." He smiled as he handed her the application._

"Hotch," the voice came from behind him. "Has she woken up?"

"Not yet," Aaron waited a few more seconds before turning around to see the young profiler standing at the door. He could see the way Spencer's eyes locked on the still form of lying on the bed. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," slowly Spencer made his way into the room. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, his hand reaching for hers cautiously.

"Have you been to see him yet?"

Aaron watched as the young doctor kept his gaze averted. He tried not to look it from a profiler's perspective but a friend. There was a reason he was acting so unattached. Aaron regretted not coming sooner. Going through something like this was hard and they shouldn't have been alone.

"I haven't, yet. Thanks for coming out so fast."

"Sean would have been here tomorrow." Aaron clasped her small hand in his.

"I should get back out to Garcia."

Spencer left Aaron alone in the quiet room. The only noise came from the beeping machines. Ever since she was little, Megan Hotchner had never done things the easy way. She went through her adolescence picking fights with boys just like her brothers. It wasn't until she decided to join the bureau that her life fell into a more stable routine. For the first time, Megan was living in her own place and taking care of herself. It would be asking too much for her life to stay simple for long.

He reached out to grasp her small hands. It had been almost six hours since he received a frantic call from Garcia. Losing Haley had been hard and Megan was there through it all. He couldn't even begin to imagine losing his little sister as well.

**Remember to Review**


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the next installment. Just to let eveyrone know this chapter is a flashback based around actually episodes. This fic is a little jumpy with flashbacks, sorry if it gets confusing. The present parts are in fifth season if that helps with the timeline. Please remember to drop a review, they make me smile.

**~3 years earlier**

Megan sat on the porch of Hankel's house. She took a drag of her cigarette. Since she started at the BAU she'd tried to stop and it was beginning to work until this happened. It felt like a part of her had been ripped away. Spencer was her partner, best friend, and she was beginning to hate herself for not going with him earlier.

"Do you mind?" Emily asked as she stepped out of the house. Megan didn't look up as she motioned for her to take a seat next to her. "How are you holding up?" She watched as Megan shrugged and put the cigarette back to her lips. "I thought you quit. What's Hotch going to say?"

"You know what Spence said to me the first time we met at the Academy?" Megan's voice was shaking with suppressed sobs. "He told me six minutes. That's how long every cigarette would take my life. At first I couldn't care less, but after awhile I started to understand. When I pulled this out I thought I could just hold it and try to relax." A heavy sob escaped her lips and Emily leaned down to place a comforting arm around the younger agent.

"One won't kill you, Meg. You needed to calm down, he'd understand."

"What's the point of keeping those six minutes if I don't get to spend them with him?" Megan screamed covering her tear streaked face with her hands. "That thought keeps running through my head. It won't stop."

"You care about him, Meg, we all do. We're going to get him back, but we need to work together."

"I can't," she whispered as a new stream of tears ran down her cheeks.

"Megan, finish your cigarette, come inside and do your job." With that Emily got up to reenter the house. "He needs all of us on this."

Megan scrubbed out her cigarette before getting up and wiping her jeans off. Emily's words hit her hard. She hadn't been there before, but she was going to help him now. Taking one of the journals from Derek, she began to read through it. Suddenly she seemed to get a wave of energy just as the rest of the team was losing steam. Aaron watched his little sister and knew that she was taking this personally, more so than the rest of the team. The only time he saw her breath was when she took five minute breaks every four or so hours.

"We'll get him back, Megs." Aaron said as he stepped outside with her.

"You used to be a better liar." She blinked a few time to get rid of her tears. "I don't know how much longer he'll be able to stay strong."

"I'm sure he's stronger than we give him credit for."

"Hotch, you need to see this." Derek said from the door. As the siblings went back into the house it didn't take long for Megan's eyes to find her partner on the screens. She wished she hadn't only seconds later.

Running from the room, Megan stumbled down the porch steps. Never in her life had she felt this alone. Seeing him fall completely still broke her heart in more than one way. He was alone, scared, and most definitely in pain. Most importantly he didn't know how much she loved him. She wanted to pull out another cigarette, but her hand caught on her gun instead. It seemed like a viable option. Surely smoking an entire pack tonight wasn't going to make the hurt go away like a shot from her .36. If it wasn't for the little nephew she would leave behind and the brother's that loved her no matter what, she probably would have contemplated it a lot longer.

After being pulled back into the house by her brother, Megan completely shut down. It didn't matter than within minutes the bastard that had killed Spencer had revived him. They were still miles apart and all she wanted was to wrap him in one of his awkward hugs that she secretly loved. Garcia sent sympathetic glances towards the chair she was balled up in.

Later that night, Megan threw caution to the wind as she ran through the graveyard after hearing the gun shot go off. She didn't release the breath she was holding until his arms wrapped around her.

"Ready to get out of here?" She asked only pulling back far enough to look him in the eye.

"So soon," he said with little humor, but she let out a choked laugh anyway.

On the plane they sat together on the couch, both completely exhausted. Spencer laid his head on her lap, Megan's fingers absently brushing his hair off his forehead. She didn't want to break contact with him for fear of losing him again. Never again did she want to feel that inability to breathe.

When they landed she'd offered to drive him home, walking with him all the way up to his apartment. She hugged him one last time before she left, but this time it wasn't Megan who held on. Spencer buried his face in her dark messy curls, but she felt the tears hit her shoulders.

"I'll stay with you, Spence." She offered quietly running her fingers down his spine.

"I'd like that."

She'd sat on his bed while he showered, flipping through the books on the night stand. For the first time she'd been in his place, she felt comfortable. It might have been the overwhelming aroma of him that wafted through the room, or the fact that she loved how insanely neat he kept everything.

They lay together on the bed, keeping a respective space between each other which seemed unnecessary. His hand found hers within minutes and she allowed him to move closer to her, resting his head on her shoulder. Possessively, he held her waist and Megan laced her fingers through his. She laid there in one of his old Cal-Tech tee shirts and thought about how completely at peace she felt. It was amazing how well they fit together, chests rising and falling at the same time. If she wanted to she probably could have listened to how their heartbeats synced as well, but exhaustion finally claimed her. It was the first restful sleep she'd had in days.

That morning she'd carefully peeled herself away from his warm embrace. She made coffee as quietly as possible, trying not to wake him before she was able to step out for one last cigarette. Flinching slightly as long arms engulfed her waist, a smile spread across her face.

"I tried not to wake you," she whispered for no apparent reason.

"You didn't."

Turning in his arms, she could see the lie but decided not to comment on it. Unsure of what completely possessed her, Megan ran her hands up the arms he still had on her waist. Stopping at his shoulders, she leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on the edge of his lips. Moving closer she wrapped her arms around his neck, silently sobbing into his shoulder.

"We could've lost you," she choked out.

"You did, for a minute."

He pulled her back easily. Embarrassed, Megan moved out of his reach completely. She rubbed her eyes aggressively to get rid of the tears. Pushing herself onto the clear counter space she stared across the kitchen at him.

"I should have been with you. Aaron should have let me go." Her voice was almost back to normal. "I want to blame him."

"Don't, he didn't know."

"I couldn't stop thinking about how scared you must have been, and alone. The pain," she took in a shaking breath to stop the tears from reappearing. "You might be my geeky partner, Spencer Reid, but I love you."

He closed the distance between them, standing between her legs. Closing her eyes as he rested his forehead against hers, Megan tried to remain calm as her admission hung in the space between them.

"You don't have to say anything. I just realized that I don't want something to happen to one of us without…" Her words were cut off as he pressed his lips to hers. His hands around her waist pulled her deeper into the embrace.

"You look good in that shirt," he whispered as they broke for breath.

"Keep this up and you'll see me in it more often."

That had been the beginning of their very secret relationship. It was almost a miracle they were able to keep it from their co-workers, especially her brother. It wasn't only the fact that they were breaking the fraternization rules, but also compromising the team two-fold with another personal relationship on Megan's part. What they had was new and it just seemed better when they were alone. Together they could pretend to be two normal people falling in love.

If they were to tell the team, it wouldn't be their relationship anymore. It was a joint decision to keep it secret for fear of having too many opinions or judgments. For Megan, she wasn't ready to open herself up completely to someone else. But in Spencer's case, he was still fighting his own demons and he needed to work through that before letting Megan in completely.

In New Orleans, Megan had finally had enough of whatever Spencer was hiding. She'd tried to let him work through it on his own, but the attitude was beginning to wear her thin. It had barely been a month since they started a relationship and she knew he wasn't telling her something. Deep down she knew what it was, they all did, but it didn't feel like her place to bring it up.

"Megan, everything okay?" Spencer's voice caught her off guard as he walked up to the front of the hotel.

"I just needed some air. How was Ethan?" She tried hiding the cigarette behind her back, but his keen eyes had already caught it.

"He's good, I guess. What're you doing with that?"

"Sue me. It's been a rough couple of weeks."

"Do I have to remind you, six minutes?" He stepped closer to her, a hand on her hip so he could whisper. "Besides it's like kissing an ashtray."

"You're one to talk." She sighed, taking a step out of his reach and placing the cigarette between her lips.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on do you really think you're fooling any of us, especially me, Spence?" She moved closer, running her fingers up his exposed forearm. "This might lose you six minutes with me, but how many have I lost with you?"

She kissed his cheek quickly before stabbing out her cigarette and heading back inside the building. He watched her, unable to follow. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, and it finally dawned on him how much she was affected. If there was any reason to get help, it was the woman leaving him now.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for the reviews! Here's another chapter..._

**Present**

Garcia watched Spencer pace back and forth across the waiting room. She couldn't even begin to understand what his supercharged brain was thinking. What she did know was that he shouldn't be out here with her.

"Reid, why don't you go check on her?"

"I just got back. Do you think something's changed already?" The tech got up and moved into a chair closer to her frantic friend.

"I'm not talking about her and you know it. Talk to me."

"I can't," he said simply.

Her heart broke as she saw the lost expression on his face. She'd never seen him look so torn in the six years she'd known him. If anyone was here with him, she was glad it was her. Megan had been a wreck until he showed up. It seemed like it was Garcia's job to comfort one friend and then move on to the other.

"_Lil' Hotch, answer this question for me," Derek sat across from her at the small table in the crowded bar. JJ was getting drinks as Garcia and Derek watched the two newest members of the team, Spencer sat uncomfortably next to Megan. "How good of a shot are you?" A smile played on her lips._

"_Wouldn't you like to know," it was her trademark answer and every time she said those words it made her smile. _

"_Hey, Morgan, those girls have been watching you since we got here." JJ pointed out as she placed the beer bottles on the table. _

_Derek left soon after that, surrounded by girls on the dance floor. JJ was playing darts and Garcia was so engrossed watching Derek, Megan turned to Spencer for entertainment. _

"_Make me laugh." She instructed, nursing her beer. _

"_How do I do that?" He asked, taken off guard by her abrupt request. They both turned when Garcia laughed. _

"_Sweetie, you have been asked to dance dozens of times tonight, why are you not out there shaking what you got?" Megan took a large swig of her beer before answering the tech girl._

"_I'm not really dating right now." Garcia looked at her with disappointed eyes._

"_They want to dance, not start a relationship." _

"_It's not always that simple for me." She admitted as she finished her drink. _

"_You want one?" Megan asked Spencer, leaning in to speak into his ear. She could have just spoken louder, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. _

"_No thanks." Surprisingly, Spencer held her closer to rely. His hand lingered on her shoulder, keeping their bodies close. "I'm just drinking soda." _

_Garcia noticed how Spencer's eyes followed Megan until she was engulfed by the crowed bar. They were close. That was obvious. She assumed going through the academy together had formed some kind of bond between them. Megan came back into view, tucking a folded piece of paper into her tight jean's pocket. She didn't say anything as she sat down, though she did give Spencer a smile._

_A few hours later and more than a couple drinks later, Megan was calling it quits. She stood outside with Garcia as the two waited for Spencer to bring his car around. He'd offered to take Megan home only to have Garcia tag along._

"_You two are really cute together." The techie smiled._

"_He's sweet. We have a system worked out."_

"_What kind of system?" Megan could see the intrigue in her friend's eyes._

"_We protect each other."_

_Megan sat up front next to Spencer, playing with the radio and slightly distracting him. These actions caused her to be the first dropped off. Garcia had to admit she was surprised when they both got out of the car._

"_Night, Spence." She smiled slowly moving to the entrance to her building. He reached out and caught the side of her hip, subtly sliding the paper out of her pocket. "See you tomorrow." She whispered giving him an awkward hug, until his arms wrapped around her tightly._

"_What was that about?" Garcia asked taking over Megan's abandoned seat._

"_The guy's number. I'm just trying to protect her."_

"_That's sweet, Reid." The rest of the ride was silent as Garcia's mind tried to comprehend what life at the BAU would be like if Spencer started a relationship with a partner who just so happened to be their boss's sister as well._

"How is she?" A deep voice broke the silence. Garcia smiled up at the other Hotchner walking into the waiting area. "Can I see her?"

"She's still unconscious." Spencer said, stopping his movement to stare at Sean.

It always shocked him to see how different he looked from the two Hotchners he worked with. His blonde hair and built structure were complete opposite of the darker siblings. But he saw that they had similar eyes, whether they were smiling or filled with worry like they were now.

"How are you, man?" He asked Spencer with concern etched into his voice.

"I'm fine. It'd just be easier if she woke up. I'll take you to her room."

Garcia watched the two men leave, glad to see a large group walk in just as she was left alone. The rest of the team came in with the same concern shadowing their faces. She hated seeing her family so forlorn when it should have been a day of celebration. It took all her power to plaster on a smile and greet them.

"It's so good to see all of you." She stopped them before they could ask any questions. "Come my lovelies, there is a beautiful girl in dire need of visitors."

"Is she awake?" Emily asked as the group followed the tech back out the way they came.

"She's not on this floor?" Derek asked as she hit the elevator button.

"Megan has her three men watching out for her. We are going somewhere much more cheery before we get back to the somber floor of the ICU."

Sean and Spencer stood in the door, trying hard not to wake either of the sleeping occupants of the room. If they had known making noise would wake Megan, they would have tried it. But it seemed it would have only awoken Aaron who was due for a few minutes of sleep at least.

"I tried to get here as fast as I could." Sean whispered, taking his sister's hand. "Maybe then…"

"It wouldn't have made a difference. No one could have expected her to lose so much blood. It caught the doctor's off guard."

"At least you were here. You didn't go with your team?"

Spencer looked down, avoiding the brother's sorrow filled eyes.

"I was, but she called me back earlier. Hotch was going to come back with me, but she told him not to."

"That sounds like, Megs. Good to know she hasn't changed much."

"She's stubborn."

"I should have stayed closer to her. After she left NYU, it was like we barely saw each other. It's a family trait. We're very detached to those we love. I hope it's different for you two."

"You should see them. It's like high school all over again." Aaron's voice shocked the other two men. "I need a spray bottle to keep them apart."

"What," Spencer asked in shock.

"I see the way you look at each other. She loves you." Aaron clarified.

"You'd be amazed how many times I actually doubted that. She's too good for me."

The three men sat in silence as their gazes fell on the woman in question. Each felt their heart breaking more each second her eyes didn't flutter open. It was strange that one woman could bring together three completely different men.

**I'm still not sure how this is going...drop a review**


	4. Chapter 4

**~1 year earlier**

Megan walked into Garcia's office and slid down the door she just closed. It didn't take long for the tech to turn her attention to her friend. Her eyes still stung with the tears brought on my Spencer's recording to his mother, and she only hoped Megan wouldn't ask.

"I thought you took a personal day?" She asked, surprised by how composed her voice sounded.

"It was only one doctor's appointment. What's going on here, it looks like a war zone."

"That's a question for our fearless leader, my dear. I suggest you go talk to him before doing anything else."

"Can I hide in here for a little while? I need to clear my head."

"What's wrong?" Garcia asked, taking in her tousled hair and worried eyes. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm not sure yet. It's nothing life threatening, so don't worry too much." Megan stared up at her friend and couldn't resist the question any longer. "Are you okay, when I came in you looked upset?"

"Fine, you should go find Hotch."

Reluctantly, Megan left the safety of the tech office and went to find her older brother in the mass of military personnel that had taken over the BAU. Finally walking into their conference room, she saw a visibly upset JJ and her brother both staring out into the bullpen. For a moment she thought about turning around and taking the rest of the day off before he realized she'd come in, but something big was going on and she needed to know what.

"Aaron," she called out quietly. The hurt expression on his face didn't silence the alarms going off in the back of her mind. "What's going on? Everyone is freaking out and Garcia won't tell me anything."

"I thought you weren't coming in today."

"It was one doctor's appointment. I never said anything about being gone the whole day, just the morning."

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, it was just a physical. What about you?" She stepped further into the room as JJ patted her arm reassuringly before leaving for her office. "Is she okay?"

"You need to take these." He handed her a cup with pills.

"What are these?"

"Cipro, Megan, there was an anthrax attack." She took the pills willingly, sliding down into a seat.

"Where's Spence?"

"He's going through the lab." He tried to sound confident, but his little sister was well versed in his vocal shifts.

"Please don't lie to me."

"He was infected. Morgan's with him."

"Why isn't he at the hospital? If he's sick," she couldn't continue. Her hands ran shakily through her hair. This couldn't be happening to her today. "Is there anything I can do around here?"

"I was going to have you meet up with Prentiss."

"I'd rather stay in here."

"Megan, this really isn't the time to be arguing. I need you in the field, that's where you'll be most helpful."

"There's something you need to know, as my boss, which means no one else has to know."

"Are you alright?" He took a seat across from her, eyes scanning for anything out of the ordinary. "Are you sick?"

"I'm pregnant."

She couldn't stop the happiness that washed over her for a brief moment. Telling Aaron wasn't as frightening as she'd expected, but it still caused butterflies to swarm her stomach. For what seemed like hours he said nothing at all, just stared at her.

"Aaron, say something. This is a big deal and I need to know if this is going to be a problem."

"This is great news, Megan." He smiled leaning forward to hug her. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, I wanted to wait and tell Spencer first, but..." She couldn't stop the tears that filled her eyes. "He's going to be okay, right? He took the Cipro?"

"Yeah, but this is a different strain. We're doing the best we can."

Megan walked through the halls of the hospital, running through various ways of telling her boyfriend their good news. It wasn't until she was outside the door to his room that everything fell silent in her head. She couldn't tell him now. She wasn't ready.

"Wow, babe, you look good." Her seductive tone caused Morgan to raise his eye brows.

"I'll leave you guys alone." He patted her shoulder before walking down the hall.

"How are you feeling?" She came and took a seat on the edge of the bed. "You scared the hell out of me, Spence. Please don't ever do something like that again."

"I won't. I promise."

She leaned in and placed a quick kiss on his cracked lips. It scared her how much she loved him. After two years of quietly dating within the team she couldn't believe she never thought about this moment. Any day something could happen one of them.

"I can't lose you, Spencer. Not now."

"How did your appointment go?" He held her hand tightly in his. "Everything's okay?"

"Spence, I'm fine. Let's worry about you for a little bit or at least until you're out of the Anthrax ward." She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sorry I wasn't there with you."

"I'm glad you weren't."

"You think we could squeeze a week out of Aaron for recovery time. I wouldn't mind a few days off the road." Her smile was infectious.

"He's your brother, I'm sure all we're getting is the weekend. I'm fine anyway." He lifted her hand to his lips pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

"I love you, Spence."

"I love you more, Megs."


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks again for all the support guys!

**Present**

The team stood in front of the large glass windows. Rows of small trays stretched out in the room and it was difficult to find the one they were looking for. Garcia thought she would know the little pink bundle anywhere, but obviously it was proving difficult.

"They all look the same." Emily sighed as she gave up squinting through the glass to find a recognizable name.

"What's her name?" JJ asked, eyes still scanning through the rows.

"She doesn't have one," Garcia said sadly. "He hasn't come to visit her yet."

"There she is," JJ finally sighed. Everyone swarmed around as she pointed to the little pink blanket. "Baby Reid."

"Let's hope she looks more like her mom." Morgan joked, receiving a slap in the arm from Garcia.

"_What are we doing here?" Megan whined as Spencer pushed her out of the elevator. "We just got back, Spence."_

"_There's a file I need to do by Monday."_

_She walked slowly into the offices of the BAU, sighing as she caught her reflection. It was nearing her seventh month and she felt as though she was as big as the SUVs they drove around in. Soon she'd be confined to an office job before going on leave to be with her newborn for two months. All in all, she was not looking forward to any of this._

"_I can't find it here. Will you go check the conference room for me?" Spencer asked, pulling her attention away from the glass doors._

"_Conference room? Spence just leave it. I'm sure you can finish it on Monday. Please. I'm tired."_

_He took her hand and pulled her up the short set of stairs. There weren't many people still working, but the few there stared after them because of Megan's whining complaints. A trait he was beginning to blame on her pregnancy, Megan whined a lot. She sagged against the door frame as he entered the dark room. _

"_Surprise!" _

_The collective yell almost knocked her off her balance. She stared at the brightly lit room filled with her friends and coworkers. It was clear that Garcia decorated with unisex streamers and a table full of gifts and snacks caught Megan's eye._

"_Aw, guys. Are you trying to give the pregnant woman a heart attack?" She laughed as she moved into the room and wrapped her arms around Spencer's waist._

"_We thought you'd need some things for the baby." Garcia smiled from her spot in front of the gift covered table._

"_Guys, this is great. Thanks so much." She smiled up at Spencer. "Where the hell are we going to put all this stuff?"_

"_We'll make room. I didn't know babies needed this much stuff."_

"_Well start opening some of it up." Emily said holding out a box. "We didn't know what you were having so it's pretty neutral."_

"_I know what we're having, but Spence doesn't want to know." Megan smiled, removing herself from his arms and taking the gift. _

"_Tell us," JJ said with a smile. Megan glanced back at Spencer, sending him a pleading look. That's all it took for him to walk out of the room, closing the door behind him._

"_Unlike the tradition of the BAU, I am sorry to announce that I will not be having a boy."_

"_Too bad we were all looking forward to a little Reid." Morgan laughed giving her a squeeze._

A nurse came in and finally unhooked Aaron from his little sister. The men were asked to step out while the doctor examined her. It might have only been a few minutes, but to them it felt like lifetimes. If anything were to happen to her they wanted every last moment to count.

"I'm going down to the nursery." Aaron announced finally breaking the silence. "I haven't seen the baby yet."

"I'll stay here, if you want to go with him." Sean said taking a step closer to the room.

The last thing Spencer wanted to do was leave Megan's side, but he knew she would want him to see their baby. As much as it was going to kill him, he followed Aaron to the elevators. They stood in silence, the trip taking less than a few minutes. Once standing in front of the glass, everything was suddenly sinking in.

"You can go in and hold her." Aaron told him.

"What if I do it wrong?"

"Dr. Reid, she just woke up if you want to see her." A nurse in floral print scrubs came out of the nursery with a large smile.

Reluctantly, Spencer walked into the large room. The nurse was a few paces ahead of him and she scooped a bundle of pink blankets out of a plastic cart. He stopped to watch her, suddenly aware of his friends looking in through the window. As she placed the baby in his arms, he expected a heavier weight. She was nothing.

"She looks happy." The nurse smiled before heading to another crying baby.

Staring up at him with big brown eyes was his daughter, the true weight of the word only now taking effect. For the last few hours he'd been trying to blame someone for what happened to Megan, and irrationally it had fallen on this little girl. But as she stared up at him with a ghost of a smile on her tiny lips, he knew he couldn't blame her for anything. He had no idea how to take care of something so small and dependent. The thought of having to do it on his own scared him more for her sake than his.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

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	6. Chapter 6

Wow it's been a long time since I updated this. I'm sorry to all those who were following this. Well here's the next chapter and I have the next few ready for editing so hopefully they'll be up soon as well. Enjoy!

**~7 months earlier**

Megan stood at the doorway to her brother's hospital room. She finished off the last of her chips, annoyed by the craving for puffy cheese products. Aaron had been there for her since she was a kid and the thought of losing him hurt her more than anything physically could.

The elevator opened and Jack flew out and into her arms. He held onto her so tightly she suddenly felt like it would all be alright. Haley stepped into the room and Megan's arms tightened around her nephew.

"You've gotten so big." She smiled, trying to get his focus off the room.

"Is Daddy okay?"

"Yeah, sweetie, Daddy's fine." She hated that it felt like a lie.

She danced with him trying to get him to smile. Eventually he gave her small one. She decided it was enough. Haley came out of the room and the women shared an equally sad glance before Megan put Jack back on the ground.

Blinking, she tried to push away the sting of tears. The thought kept crossing her mind, what if The Reaper decided to come after her. If he wanted to hurt Aaron she would be a prime target as well.

This train of thinking was interrupted by the elevator doors opening and Rossi walking out followed slowly by Spencer on crutches. It felt like someone had punched her in the chest. She gave Rossi a look before moving quickly passed him and towards her boyfriend.

"Spencer, what the hell happened?"

"I just got shot. I'm fine."

She pushed him as gently as she could into a nearby chair. Again she felt the stinging of tears in her eyes. Sitting down next to him, she wrapped her arms around him tightly. There was only so much she could take and her limit was approaching steadily.

"Hey, Meg I'm fine." He tried to sooth her.

"I have to talk to you about something." She said pulling only slightly out of his embrace.

"There's something I wanted to ask you this morning before we got the call from JJ." She nodded letting him continue. "It was supposed to be a little more romantic than this, but here we go." He pulled a black velvet box from his pocket.

"Spence," she took the box staring wide eyed at the small diamond. "Are you asking me… are you sure?"

"Pretty sure," he nodded. Megan kissed him, pulling him closer to her.

"How many pain killers did you take?" She asked with a sort laugh.

"None, actually."

"Come on, let's get you home. I think we could both use the rest."

"Did you answer my question somewhere in there?" He asked slowly getting up.

"You never asked me anything." Taking her offered hand to stand to his full height, he pulled her against his chest.

"Marry me."

She would have laughed at his seriousness if she hadn't seen the fear in his eyes. All she could do was nod and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him fully, pulling him as close to her as possible.

"Let me say goodbye to Aaron then we can get out of here."

She stood in the door, giving Jack one last tight hug before he and Haley walked out with the Marshall. For a second she hesitated from entering the room. Their matching eyes connected, and through her excitement she felt her heart sink into her stomach.

"I'm fine." He said with a smile.

"Do you know how many times I've heard that today?" She came in a sat on the edge of his bed. "Your son and love of your life just walked out of here. I can stay. I'm sure the nurses wouldn't mind if I camped out in this awesomely comfy chair."

"Go home, be with Reid. I'm sure he needs you more now than I do."

"He asked me to marry him." She whispered. "How can I say yes when I haven't told him I'm pregnant? What if he changes his mind?"

"Megan, talk to him. Even though I know there's probably nothing that will change his mind, you'll always have me here." She leaned over and carefully hugged him.

"I'm going to clean the apartment tomorrow. When you're ready to come home I'll make sure the carpet is back to its grey splendor without a red spot." She placed a kiss on her forehead. "See you in the morning."

The ride back to Spencer's apartment was long and silent. Megan knew that she hadn't really given him an answer, but she felt like she would be trapping him if she accepted before he knew. Her thoughts were everywhere. She needed to clean her apartment that she and her brother shared. The thought of scrubbing his blood out of her floor made her stomach queasy.

Lying together on the bed, Spencer could tell she wasn't with him. He couldn't begin to imagine what it had been like seeing her brother after Foyet got to him. His arm wrapped around her, pulling her closer.

"I need to tell you something." She blurted out. "And I'm really scared because it's going to change everything."

"Whatever it is, we'll figure it out."

"I'm pregnant." She waited as silence began to suffocate her. "At least it forced me to quit smoking, again."

He pulled her closer, causing her to fall half on top of him. The smile on his face let all of the uncertainty fall away. She kissed his lips before trailing her lips along his jaw.

"We can wait until after, I know you'll want to fit in a nice dress." She laughed before capturing his mouth again.

"No, let's go now. We can fly to Vegas and get married by a fat Elvis." She smiled, staring down at him. "We shouldn't wait any longer. I waited to tell you about this baby, I've known for nearly two months. We haven't officially moved in together and we've been dating for nearly four years. Why are we still waiting to take the final steps?"

"We'll do things our way. We'll move in together, have this baby, and then get married. How's that sound?"

"You really are a genius, aren't you?"

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	7. Chapter 7

**Present**

"She's gorgeous, Reid." JJ smiled as she ran a finger down the baby's chubby cheeks.

"Have you come up with a name yet?" Emily asked as she and Garcia awed as the little girl smiled as best she could.

"We talked about it, but I'm going to wait for Megan to wake up."

Collectively the group sobered up. It was hard to keep the joy of having a new baby join the team locked away as Megan clung to life. With their job it was hard to think that they could lose someone outside of the field, especially with something this routine.

"It's getting late. I should get home to Henry." JJ said with one last smile to Spencer and his daughter. "Call me if anything changes."

The rest of the team followed her lead. It took some persuasion, but the brother's left as well. Suddenly Spencer found himself alone for the first time. The gravity of his situation weighed him down. There was no way he could do this alone.

Megan still lay motionless on the bed, only the beeping of her monitors telling Spencer she was still alive. He still held his daughter, rocking her gently as she sucked on the bottle. Her eyes never left his. It seemed like time moved at an excruciatingly slow pace as they rocked in the dark hospital room.

"I bet you can't wait to get home, huh? Sharing a room with all those other babies can't be much fun. I know I miss my bed. We just need Mommy to wake up. I'm open to suggestions. You know how to get her to wake up?"

A smile broke out across the little girl's face. Spencer caught himself thinking how much it reminded him of Megan's. The way the corners of her mouth would turn up at the slightest thing. If he wanted to be honest, he probably fell in love with her because of that smile.

_Megan ran through the lobby to catch the elevator before the doors slid shut. Spencer tried to control the laughter that boiled up in his throat. She moved in the small box crowded with agents until she was standing beside her partner. As people started to exit, she began to uncurl her scarf, gloves, and beanie. Spencer let out a short laugh as she shook the snow out of her messy brown curls. _

"_Don't laugh. I hate the snow." She whispered, shaking some of the melting white flakes at him._

"_I never would have guessed." He leaned down to whisper. "You look good with a red nose, Rudolf." _

"_Cute," she smiled before stepping out of the elevator. He couldn't help but smile back. That smile was contagious. The way her nose wrinkled and her eyes lit up, it was the cutest smile he'd ever seen._

"_I'm sure a few cups of coffee and you'll be bad to your usual abrasive self."_

"_That sounds awesome. Can you get me a glass?" She begged with big eyes and pouting lips. "I have to give Garcia some movies she let me borrow."_

"_Fine, but you owe me."_

_She walked into the techie's office and took a seat on the edge of her desk. Reaching into her bag she pulled out the movies and set them off to the side. After a few minutes of her talking about what she liked watching, Megan took in the new décor around the room. _

"_You went for the holiday theme. Can't say I love the weather outside, but I love this."_

"_Megs, I got your coffee and JJ's got a case for us." Spencer said as he walked into the room. "Nice decorations, Garcia."_

"_Thank you, Reid." She beamed watching as Megan joined him at the door. "I'm glad someone will be getting use out of them."_

"_What?" Spencer asked as she gave them a devilish grin._

"_Mistletoe," Megan sighed staring up at the ceiling. "Garcia, why do you have mistletoe hanging around?"_

"_Trying to trap Morgan of course, alas it seems I have not benefitted. Well, what are you waiting for?"_

_Spencer was about to object before Megan leaned up on her toes and covered his words with her lips. She was actually surprised as his hand rested just above her hip, drawing her closer to him. Garcia's mouth dropped open as she saw the two kiss for the first time. It seemed as though all of her assumptions had been right._

_Finally breaking apart, Megan gave the blonde a smile before moving into the hall. "You coming, Spence?" And there was that smile again. _

"_Yeah, let's go." _

_Megan backed away, keeping that smile on her face as he walked towards her. In that moment, with his lips still tingling from where hers had been, Spencer knew that he loved Megan Hotchner. There was no other explanation. _

Spencer's finger absently ran over the smooth skin of his daughter's arm. Her eyes were fluttering shut as she stared up at him. The thought of putting her back in her plastic bassinette only made his heart break. Megan had spent the last few months perfecting the nursery, although Spencer knew she'd end up in their room.

"How're you doing, Daddy?" The nurse came into the room with a smile. She noticed his discomfort. "Better get used to it. I can tell she's going to be a daddy's girl."

"I don't know about that. Megan's really great with kids."

"But Daddy is a little girl's favorite person." She finished checking Megan's monitors. "Mommy seems to be doing better. She's got more color and her pulse is stronger. Hopefully she'll be up soon."

With a sweet smile she left the father and daughter. The baby in Spencer's arms sleeping as peacefully as her mother. He placed the baby carefully in her bassinette before moving closer to the bedside of Megan. Her cool hand was limp in his as he rested his head on his folded arm. As his eye closed, he tried to imagine what their life would be like as normal new parents. He imagined he'd be just as tired if not more.

**please review**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the reviews everyone!**

**~3 months earlier**

Megan came out of the bathroom still in her robe. She stood in the doorway, absently twirling her engagement ring. Tears rolled down her cheeks as watched Spencer limp around the bedroom. A sob escaped her lips as he finally looking at her, messy hair, puffy eyes, and a swollen belly.

He didn't say anything as he crossed the space between them. Her arms were already open waiting for his arms to encircle her. The embrace was warm and he got as close as he could with their unborn child between them. Today wasn't about being easy. Megan knew that she had to get ready and meet her nephew and brother. Today was about Haley and remembering everything she'd accomplished in her short life.

"Hey Jack," Megan smiled as she saw the little boy running towards her.

It took more effort than she would have liked to take him into her arms. The last time she'd really held him she felt as though she could have fused him to her torso. Now he was dangling from her lump of a stomach. It brought a smile to her face to watch as he ran a careful hand over the top of her belly.

"You excited about getting a cousin?" She asked sweetly.

"Sure, is it a little boy?"

"Does that matter? I think playing with a little girl is just as fun. You love playing with me don't you?" His little arms hugged her neck tighter.

"Yeah, but she'll have Barbie's. I like cars better." She smiled and pecked his cheek.

"Let's get something to eat. I need to feed this baby before it starts kicking again."

Megan sat with her team, chair close to Spencer so that he could keep a hand around her shoulders the other rubbing circles on her swollen stomach. She stayed out of the conversation, letting her team members discussed what her brother's plans were. She knew Aaron wouldn't stay home with his son, no matter how much he's discussed that option with her over the last few days. As much as their team wanted him back, she would try to convince him to stay with his son.

Spencer's hand stilled as Derek's phone rang. They had a case. They knew it'd come eventually but not tonight, no this soon.

"You go, I'll stay with Aaron." Megan said as she let Spencer help her out of her seat. "Be careful." She whispered before placing a soft kiss on her fiancée's lips.

"Call me, if you need anything."

Megan sat in her old apartment, trying not to focus on the newly painted wall where a bullet had been lodged or the chair that now sat over the darkened stain from her brother's blood. Her hand fell on top of her table of a stomach. Jack came in and laid across her lap after he put the video tape in. Haley's face popped onto the screen and Megan felt the fresh sting of tears.

"Jack, honey, I'm going to find Daddy alright? I'll be right back."

"Okay, Aunt Meg." The little boy's voice was softer than she'd ever heard it before.

It took her a minute to push herself off the couch and even longer to waddle from the living room to the back bedroom. The sight of her brother flipping through Jack's baby album broke her heart.

"Aaron, how're you doing?" She took a seat next to him, wrapping an arm through his. "Jack's watching home movies out there and you're looking at pictures in here. Maybe you should try those two together. Go be with your son, I'll finish unpacking his stuff."

"You shouldn't be lifting boxes." He told her with a sideways glance. "I'm almost finished."

"Talk to me, big brother." Megan scooted back a little so that she could face his profile. "What's going through that head of yours?"

"I don't know how I'm going to look after him. Haley was a great mother. I took advantage of that." He finally looked up at her. "There's no way I can take care of him and go back to work, Megs. Everything's different now."

"Of course it is. Aaron, have you considered not going back? I know that it's been your life for years, but I know that you can find something else that you could do. Please think about it. My worst fear is losing you, and now you're all Jack has."

"How are you going to handle it?" He asked glancing down at her swollen belly.

"I don't know yet. With Spencer and me working, I don't want to feel like we're neglecting our baby when we travel as much as we do. Honestly, we haven't talked about it yet but I'm thinking about staying at home." Her gaze had shifted from her brother to her growing baby bump.

"Daddy, can we have pizza tonight?" Jack asked from the doorway. Both of us turned our gaze to the small child.

"Sure, buddy." Aaron said taking his son onto his lap.

"I'll call them, you two finish unpacking." With the help of Aaron, Megan got up and left the two alone to finish setting up Jack's room.

Megan found herself spending most of her time with her nephew. She tried spending as little time alone at her apartment. There was a part of her that hated to think she could one day be in her brother's situation. When she wasn't at the BAU, or when the team was gone on a case, Megan visited Jack and Jessica. Through the years of Aaron and Haley's marriage the two sisters had grown close. She was happy that Jessica was still around to help with Jack.

"Have you and Spencer decided on a date?" Jessica asked as the two women cleaned up Jack's lunch. "You're waiting until after the baby, right."

"It's superficial, but I want to look hot in a wedding dress." Megan absently ran her hand over her stomach. "Honestly, we really haven't talked about anything. We only moved in together because Aaron moved in with me. It seems things just happen with us, no planning."

"There's something sweet about its spontaneity. I'm sure you'll figure everything out."

"I think I'm going to do some teaching at the academy. That way I can help with Jack and stay home with the baby. Aaron's not going to take early retirement, we both know that."

"You're going to make a great mom, Meg."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Here's another chapter. Thanks to everyone who left me awesome reviews! **_

**Present **

Aaron walked into the room with Jack held quietly in his arms. The little boy had been disappointed that everyone else had gotten to see the new baby without him. He hit the ground and immediately took off towards the small bassinet in the corner of the room. Aaron tried to hide his concern as he saw his sister still in the same position.

"What's her name?" Jack asked as he peered down at his cousin.

"We never decided." Spencer came into the room with a fresh cup of coffee. "I didn't want to know the gender so we never really talked about it. There was supposed to be time."

"That's the hardest part. Haley and I spent months going over names. Megan tried to help but you remember her back then, the only thing she cared about was getting time to herself."

_Megan walked into the lecture hall, unwrapping a second stick of room was full of FBI hopefuls and all she thought about was getting home in time to watch TV-land reruns. Her desire to be there wasn't amped up, or in any way excited. She was here because she had nowhere else to go. There was a murmur around the room from the other cadets. _

"_There's an open seat over here, sweetheart." A man called out to her and she stopped to give him a once over. The first thing she noticed was that he was a drinker, those she could spot a mile away. His dark hair was matted and it looked as though he hadn't shaved in weeks. _

"_Alright, but don't expect to cheat off my paper." She said with a smile as she sat down. _

"_I'm Ethan."_

"_Megan."_

"_Nice to meet you, Megan." He said, turning to smile at his friend. At first glance it looked as though he had only just graduated high school. "This is my buddy, Spencer. He's a genius."_

_Megan nodded caring little about what these two men had to say to her. If only they knew her brother was their future boss. Aaron was only a few flights up, busy profiling stacks of files. She knew what this job did to him, but it was a hell of a lot better than her father's job or Sean's. This was the outlet she needed. _

"_How about a drink, Megan?" Ethan asked as they exited the room. "Come on after sitting there listening to all those horrible stories, a drink has to sound nice."_

"_I'm not that big a drinker." She said reaching in her bag for the small paper pouch before walking through the doors._

"_Reid, come on. You're in right?" Megan ignored them as she dug around for her lighter and inhaled sharply once end was lit._

"_Six minutes," her head snapped around to where Spencer now stood alone._

"_Excuse me?" _

"_Every cigarette you have, takes six minutes off your life. I used to tell my mom that was six minutes I didn't get to spend with her." He kept his distance from her, but Megan was surprised he'd spoken up at all._

"_That's cute, but no offence, Spence was it, I don't think an extra six minutes on my life is any of your business." She inhaled again and started toward the parking lot._

"When is Aunt Meg going to wake up?" Jack finally turned his attention to the woman sleeping peacefully. The men shared a look before Aaron sat his son on the edge of the bed. His smaller hand slipped through hers.

"Aunt Meg is really tired." Aaron tried. "It was really hard for her to carry around the baby and she just needs some time to rest."

"Well both of them are sleeping, who am I going to play with?" Spencer couldn't stop the short laugh that escaped his lips.

"How about we come back later, buddy? Aunt Meg and the baby should be up soon." He put his son back on the ground and pushed him to the door. "Wait outside, I need to talk to Uncle Spencer for a minute."

The little boy paused and turned back to the bed to place a kiss on his aunt's hand. He then made his way over to the baby to say goodbye. Spencer helped by picking him up to give the small child a better view. Unexpectedly, Jack turned from his cousin and hugged Spencer tightly before saying goodbye.

"It's still weird, isn't it?" Aaron asked as he watched the look on his colleague's face.

"You mean being around kids or hearing you call me Uncle Spencer, because at this particular moment everything's a little weird to say the least."

"I know she's going to be fine." Aaron said in a convincing tone. "She's a fighter."

"There's still a chance she won't wake up, the longer she stays unconscious…"

"I meant your daughter." Aaron picked up the small mass of pink. "She looks a lot like Meg did. Hopefully she's not as hard to handle."

"What am I supposed to do with her? They said I can take her home today, but I can't leave without Megan."

"Here's your first piece of brotherly advice," Aaron placed the cooing baby in her father's arms. "Don't let your wife know how much you depend on her. You're a smart guy, Spencer, I'm sure you'll be fine, too."

With that he left and again Spencer found himself sitting alone with his daughter. A part of him wanted to ignore everything Aaron had said to him, but he'd been listening to his boss for so long it was habit. He had three PhDs, taking care of a baby, his own baby, for a few days couldn't be that hard to do alone.

"What do you say? You think we can handle a night on our own?" Again her large brown eyes lit up as she broke into a smile. "Just between you and me, I'd probably be doing all the work even if Mommy was awake. At least you're not crying, because honestly you have more control than I do. You've got to miss her as much as I do."

Spencer tore his eyes away from his daughter and stared at Megan. He couldn't stop his thoughts from running through everything they would never get to do together. The first being a wedding, where she would walk down the aisle in an expensive white dress and they'd spend too much money on food they'd never get the chance to eat. They'd never got to argue over where to move, or what schools were best for their daughter. He regretted waiting so long to admit how much she meant to him. Suddenly all the blame he'd been wanting to place fell on his shoulders. If he'd been there for her maybe things wouldn't have gone wrong.

"Come on, Megs. She's dying to see you." He pleaded taking her hand in his. "I know I didn't tell you enough, but you're it for me. The best thing in my life has probably been you since the first day we met. After everything we've been through, you can't go out like this." She never got a chance to see their daughter. Megan had to wake up if only to be with their daughter for a few minutes.

He glanced back at the baby in her bassinette, trying to hold back tears. Before he could turn his attention back to Megan the many machines hooked up to her started to beep with more intensity. His heart sank as the baby started to cry at the increased noise.

"Spence," his name escaped Megan's lips as a hoarse gasp.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it took me so long to update. I wanted to get through the last chapter too, so I could finish this out. Thanks for all the reviews and alerts, enjoy!**

~ 2 Days Ago

Spencer put down his book for the first time in over two hours. He hadn't even realized how much time had passed. Megan hadn't said a word in over an hour and that should have been his first sign. She was still curled up next to him on the couch, an arm draped over her protruding belly. He reached out and placed a hand over hers. It still amazed him to think that there was a life growing inside of her, one he help create.

"Seven more weeks," she whispered.

"Do you think we're ready?"

"I know I'm ready to get my figure back. And I think we own half of Babies R Us." She smiled at him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "We'll be fine. Don't forget we have JJ and Aaron to run to for advice. I practically helped Haley raise Jack when he was an infant. And you've read every book published on taking care of a kid. I think all our bases are covered."

"But will we be good at it? Sure keeping it alive and healthy won't be a problem, but how do we know if we're being good parents?"

"We don't." She said matter-of-factly. The look on Spencer's face was enough to make giggles escape her lips. "Aw babe, there's nothing we could do to this kid that we can't eventually fix down the road. Come on let's put this baby to bed."

They weren't the most encouraging words, but there was no way Megan could air out all of her insecurities of motherhood when he was doubting himself. Together they could handle anything.

Like most mornings, Megan and Spencer showed up late. She'd told him to leave without her, explaining that a little morning sickness was one of the many aspects of pregnancy she'd gotten used to, but he refused. JJ had stalled the meeting as long as she could and was only just starting when the couple walked in. Although Megan wasn't able to go with them, she still liked to know what they were up against and gave as much insight as she could before they jetted off. Even though it had been three weeks since she stopped travelling with the team, watching them leave her behind hadn't gotten any easier.

"You're going to miss me." Megan teased as she sat behind Spencer's desk with a smug smile on her face.

"You'll miss me more." He leaned down to place a kiss on her lips. "Who's going to make those late night taco runs?"

"Hey," she grabbed his tie to keep him level with her. "You're also the best pillow I could ask for."

"Hold down the fort for us, sexy momma." Morgan joked as the team made their way to the doors. Megan blew him a kiss before returning her attention to her fiancé.

"Go, have fun taking down the bad guys while I sit behind a desk."

"You know in a month you'll be dying to do desk work, instead of sitting around the apartment." He checked his work area one last time for anything he thought he might need. "I'll call you later."

"You better. Be careful, okay?"

"Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it." He kissed her again before following the rest of the team.

Four days passed and Megan sat with Garcia going through her own stack of files while the tech worked her magic, a hand continuously rubbing her stomach. Her baby was kicking more frequently and aggressively than ever before. The force bothered her more than usual, and Megan wished Spencer was there to feel how active their baby girl was. She loved watching the surprised expression on his face at the slightest movement of their unborn child.

"You okay?" The tech asked noticing her friend shift in discomfort.

"She's kicking a lot today." Megan winced. "I guess she's ready, my due date isn't for another month."

"Reid's taking some time off with you?"

"A few weeks, I think. He just wants time with the baby." She smiled.

"It also gives you time to relax. Let me know if it gets worse, we'll get you two looked at." Garcia smiled and placed a hand on her friend's stomach.

Another few hours went by and Megan watched as her friend's fingers flew over the keys. She tried to keep out of the way and hold the pain in. When they got closer to their man, Megan took a walk to relieve some of the pain and get out of Garcia's space. She didn't get far before moving into the bathroom to cool her face and neck.

"Megs," Garcia called from the door. "Daddy's on the phone." With a shaking hand Megan took the phone, keeping a grip on the marble counter for support.

"Hey babe." She tried to sound normal so as not to alarm him, her words were choked out through gritted teeth. "Are you on your way home?"

"Are you okay? You sound like you're in pain." A tear ran down her cheek and Garcia held her up.

"Come home now, Spencer. Something's wrong."

"The next flight home," he promised. Megan moved with Garcia carefully.

"I love you, but you never touch me again." She tried to laugh. "You know which hospital?"

"Of course, I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up, rushing to find Aaron.

"Anderson can take me, stay and help them. I'll be fine." Megan explained as she slowly made her way out of the bathroom with help of Garcia.

"Nope, not a chance. I'll call Kevin and we'll get you ready to have a baby."

As Spencer stepped into the waiting room where Garcia tried to conceal her tears, he instantly regretted not saying 'I love you'. The defeated look on the usually bubbly blonde's face make his stomach tight. He sat with his friend quietly as she relaid all the information the doctor's were allowed to give her. She'd never seen him like this, not in the six years she'd known him. They sat as people came and went around them. No doctor came to get them until it was nearly dawn. The look on the his face broke Garcia's heart.

"You're here for Megan Hotchner?"

"I'm her fiancé, Dr. Spencer Reid." The men shook hands.

"The baby girl is fine. A beautiful healthy baby, ready just a little early. We're going to keep an eye on her for a few days. Congratulations."

"And Megan, how is she?" He felt bad for ignoring the good new about his daughter, but Megan was the love of his live. He couldn't lose her.

"Mom lost a lot of blood. We're trying to help her but it would help if we had a direct donor, parent, sibling, anyone with the same blood type."

"I'll call here brothers." Garcia offered.

"You can see the baby. We just moved her into the nursery." The doctor offered before leaving Spencer with his thoughts.

Just like that it felt like every piece of Spencer's life was falling apart. Losing Megan was the last thing he wanted. He couldn't do this parenting thing without her. Since he'd met her, she'd been by his side. She was the tough one, the risk taker, she'd cracked the shell he'd hid behind for years. The thought of losing almost seven years of history killed him. It wasn't fair that the life they had together could be ripped away so easily. He'd give anything to get more time with her. If he'd known having a family with Megan meant losing her, he'd change it in a heartbeat.

Garcia returned to find him hunched over in a chair, hands cradling his head. His shoulders shook subtly and she felt hot tears streak down her own face. There wasn't anything they could do now but wait. Cautiously she placed her hand on his back, rubbing consoling circles. She knew there were no words that would make him feel better. Megan was his partner, best friend, soulmate, she knew he must have felt like his entire heart and soul were being ripped out.


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter kinda got away from me, but I think it's a fitting end. Enjoy!**

~ 3 Months Later

Aaron smiled out his kitchen window. The back yard was swarming with his closest friends and family and at least a dozen of Jack's classmates. He was glad the weather turned out perfect for the backyard party he had planned for Jack's sixth birthday. For a split second his smile faltered as the front door opened. He held his breath for the guest to enter unconsciously hoping for his sister. Emily smiled weakly as she headed in the direction of her boss.

"Am I the first one here?"

"No, Derek and Rossi are helping with the food. Garcia and JJ are with Henry."

"Everything okay?" Emily asked as she too stared out the window.

"Yeah, it's fine." He picked up the rest of the food and headed for the back door. "Jack's having a good time, as far as I can tell."

"Does he miss her?" Emily asked following behind him with a stack of plates and napkins.

"We all do."

Jack ran around the large yard with his friends. Aaron was happy to see his son with a smile on his face. This morning had consisted of tears from missing Haley only to include a new wave of cries at the reluctant reminder that Megan wouldn't be there either. I was a wonder the boy left his room when the guests arrived. He'd be lying if he said he didn't reciprocate his son's feelings. They wre finally coping with Haley's absence, but the new sting of Megan being gone on such an important day hurt them both.

"Oh my God," Emily practically squealed. "Look at her. Hello, baby Reid."

"Every time you call her that, I think you're talking to me. She has a name." Spencer said with a shake of his head. His daughter was balanced carefully in one arm, while he cared her car seat in the other loaded with Jack's present and the large diaper bag.

"Come here, Carly. Let's give Daddy a rest." Aaron laughed and smiled as the baby girl's eyes lit up.

"You look tired." JJ smiled warily as Reid took a seat next to her.

"She's three months old and nowhere near sleeping through the night."

"Don't you get annual leave soon? Maybe you should take a few days to relax."

Taking care of Carly was a handful and he sometimes felt like he was drowning. No matter how many books he read, nothing prepared him for being a father. He thought falling for Megan had snuck up on him, but the overwhelming need to protect his daughter was enough to kill him. Everything about her reminded him of her mother, from her laugh to her cry. There was nothing he wouldn't do for his little girl if only to preserve the resemblance.

"If you need some extra help, Spencer, you can always drop her off with me." Jessica said as she joined them at the table, Carly bouncing on her knee. "I'd love the company." She used a baby voice and smiled down at the cooing girl.

"That's really nice, but everything's under control." Spencer reassured them.

"She looks just like Megan did." Aaron said handing his niece's father a beer. "Same curls, same big smile."

"So she got all the good Hotchner genes then. If she got at least half of Reid's brains she set for life." Morgan commented as he and Will set down the food from the barbeque.

"Dad, is it time for cake yet?" Jack's voice echoed through the yard accompanied by a chorus from his friends. The adults laughed at the tiny army assembling against their fearless leader.

"After you eat some lunch, buddy." Aaron tried to keep some of his authority.

The day was going smoothly considering how many people were there. Jack's friends seemed to keep his mind off his early concerns. It was also nice for the adults to finally be able to spend some time together that didn't involve work. It still surprised Aaron how much his team had changed in six years. What amazed him even more was his sister's life. Megan had been nothing but a trouble maker through her adolescence. He even hesitated before letting her onto the team. A small part of him knew that if he hadn't needed someone to have Spencer's back, she probably would've been sent to another team. He was glad he was able to reconnect with her over the years. Never did he expect her to find a decent guy to settle her down and have a beautiful baby girl to show for it.

"You still with us, boss?" Garcia asked.

"Yeah, just wondering how much longer I can stall the cake and presents. The last thing we need is a bunch of six year olds running around on a sugar high with new toys."

"That'll by my cue to leave." Morgan laughed.

Spencer watched Jack playing with his friends, his eyes occasionally looking for his father and then checking the door. Carly was squirming in her father's lap a sign he knew meant she was on the verge of tears. He knew what she wanted, but there was nothing he could do. Emily offered to hold her, but once in her godmother's arms big tears began to fall from her brown eyes. The baby girl wasn't stupid. She knew who she wanted to be held by. No one could substitute her mother.

Spencer apologized, ignoring the looks of pity his friends sent his way, and brought the baby inside. He dug in her bag for a bottle, hoping feeding her a little would help. Rocking her gently, Carly began to soothe and slowly she was only emitting small hiccups with large gulps of air. Self-soothing was in every book he'd read, but at three months he knew she was still too young. Hearing her cry broke his heart. The thought crossed his mind of how many days she'd spend it tears because he couldn't be there. It would be just be one for thing he'd turn to Aaron for guidance for.

He had to admit it was nice having people around that were willing to help.

Walking around the newly furnished house, Spencer smiled as he saw Carly recognize the photos of her mother. Aaron was right to say that she was a spitting image of Megan. They had the same dark curls and big smile. He sat down at the piano Aaron had bought for Jessica to teach Jack how to play. It wasn't used much, but it was a nice fixture in the home. Carefully he held his daughter and played with the other hand. She gripped his fingers tightly as she leaned closer to the ivory keys.

"She'll be playing before you know it." Rossi's voice cut through the music.

"She already does at home. We're learning together." Spencer smiled weakly before returning to the keys. "Did you draw the short straw, or were you genuinely concerned?"

"It was getting a little too crazy for me out there. Just one of the many reasons I had for not having children. You'll have it worse with a dozen little girls running around in princess dresses."

"I'm trying not the think about that yet." He laughed.

"Good luck with that. Aaron's getting the cake ready and then things will really get fun."

"We'll be out there in a minute." He waited until the older agent was back outside before placing a kiss on top his daughters head. "What do you say, Carly, you up for some cake?" Her eyes were focused on a picture and as soon as he saw it he couldn't pull his eyes away.

"_Spence," his name escaped Megan's lips as a hoarse gasp._

_Nurses and doctors came in, pushing him out of the room until they checked everything. A few minutes later he was left alone again with the two women in his life. Megan's eyes were half closed, but she still reached out for him._

"_Do you want to hold her?" _

"_Yeah," she breathed. Carefully he placed the baby in the crook of her. "Hey there, gorgeous. My little Carly Reid."_

"_You scared us, babe." Spencer said, pulling his chair closer._

"_You know me, I can't do anything the easy way." She tried to laugh, but swallowed hard. "She's heavy."_

_He picked the baby up, placing her back in the bassinette. Megan was still on the verge of unconsciousness, and all he could think about was keeping her awake. As long as her eyes stayed open there was a chance she'd walk out of this hospital in a few days. _

"_Can you get me some water and maybe some crackers? I feel like I haven't eaten in weeks."_

"_I'll be right back." He leaned in and kiss her forehead, worry about the slightly heated skin under his touch. Pulling way slightly he placed a hand on the side of her face. She opened her eyes to smile at him. "I love you."_

"_I know," she said with an edge of concern. "I'm not going anywhere."_

_He barely made it down the hall before doctors were running back into Megan's room. Twenty minutes later she was rushed into surgery. This time as Spencer sat in the waiting room he couldn't stop statistics from running through his head. Mother's mortality rate after a complicated birth, child's risk of addiction based on parental genes, single father household's strain on daughters. He had a hard time imagining Carly growing up and having nothing but stories and pictures to remember her mother by._

"Who's going to stay and help clean up?" Aaron asked as the last of the children left with their parents.

"You mean I had to cook and now clean?" Morgan joked as he and Emily got up from the table taking empty plates with them.

"Sorry, boss. I have my hands full with this little guy." Garcia smiled as Henry tried to eat the icing off a piece of cake.

"Don't tell me I missed all the fun stuff." Jack's face lit up at the sound of the familiar voice. He ran from one end of the yard to the door and flew into Megan's arms, barely giving her enough time to catch him.

"You made it."

"Of course I did. It's your birthday big guy."

Collectively, everyone broke into smiles. The woman in front of them looked as though she never had a worry in the world. Her hair was curled naturally, barely visible make up make her face lit up, and her clothes were a comfortable pair of jeans and faded white t-shirt. Spencer had to stop himself from running up to her like the little boy did.

"I hope you saved me some cake." She laughed as she put the boy down. "Sorry, I'm late. I promise you, I tried to get out of the training exercise. The scenario took longer than expected and one of my kids got sick and it was an insane nightmare." She hugged her brother hoping for forgiveness.

"We didn't think you'd show up at all."

"Are you kidding me? There was no way I was going to miss Jack's birthday, especially the first one after..." She didn't finish only smiling sadly into her brother's chest.

"How's the academy treating you?" Morgan asked with a laugh. "Teaching as much fun as you thought?"

"Very funny, it takes a lot of strength not to shoot them with the techniques they obviously don't pay attention to. SWAT was supposed to be fun. It's more frustrating than working with Spence." She smiled towards her family, slowly moving towards them to take her baby in her arms.

"Carly, Mommy missed you." She smiled, showering her daughter's face with kisses as the girl laughed. "But not as much as I missed you." She leaned over and kissed Spencer only to get disgusted groans from her their friends. This only prompted them to share a few more chaste kissed before finally pulling apart.

"Aunt Meg, look at all the toys I got." She carefully squatted down to stare at Jack's pile of new toys while keeping her baby on her hip.

"That's awesome, kiddo. Are you going to let Carly and me play with them too?"

"As long as she doesn't drool on them."

"Alright, we'll make sure she doesn't." She got up to share a smile with her brother. "I took some time off while the team was on annual leave. So expect to see us hanging around this big new house of yours."

"Spending leave with Hotch is the last thing on my to do list." Morgan joked. "There's got to be something fun you two have planned."

"We're going to Vegas for a week, to visit my mom. She really wants to see her granddaughter." Spencer explained.

They stayed a little longer, but eventually life had to move on. The perfect day had to come to an end as much as all of them wished it could last forever. It made it easier to pretend nothing bad was waiting out there for them. That night Megan bit back a smile as she watched Spencer put the baby into her crib. She twirled the ring on her finger and broke into a large smile when he turned to leave the room. In three months they already had a routine down.

"Did you have fun today?" She asked with a hint of amusement as she followed him through their apartment.

"It could have been better."

"Sorry I wasn't there. But that training exercise was really important." She fell onto the bed next to him. "I was thinking, since we're going to be in Vegas anyway and we don't exactly follow the traditional ways of life, why don't we... you know?"

"You want to… are you sure? Without our friends or your family? Just us."

"I'm tired of waiting." She turned over, lying on his chest. "So was there an answer in there somewhere?"

"I don't think you asked me a question."

"Elope with me."

He removed one of his hands from her waist, placing in on the back of her neck. She had that smile on her face and he couldn't imagine anyone else that could make him feel the way he did when she was with him. His fingers tangled in her messy curls before pulling her closer to him. She smiled into his lips before deepening the kiss, matching his hunger.

**There it is, the end! I hope everyone liked it because I had a blast writing it. Don't forget to drop a review.**


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